Fuckle Buckets

Josh went out to the bars because he was looking to fuck tonight. Josh loves to fuck. It made him feel so good. When he was drinking he thought about how awesome he was. He was punching his male goombas and showing off his dominance which the goombas didn’t threaten. Josh was on tonight. Josh was going to fuck tonight. 

At the bar were a whole lot of buckets all over the place. The buckets had real nice holes in them. Josh wanted those holes. Josh wanted to fuck-the-shit out of those holes. Josh just didn’t want any bucket. Josh wanted a hard-to-get bucket. So Josh kept drinking and feeling up the buckets. Most of them were light and Josh didn’t care for a light bucket. Light buckets were too easy. You could just pick one up, take it home and totally have your way with it. 

No.

 Josh wanted a heavy bucket. Josh wanted to pick it up and show all his friends how difficult it is to manage the bucket due to its weight. Then he would take that heavy bucket and struggle to his home with it and fuck it. This is Josh’s life. 

Josh took a thick shot of whiskey and decided to make a move. He was eyeing out a bucket all night and decided to check it out. The bucket was real heavy. Josh got hot. This bucket may have been the heaviest bucket in the whole bar. Josh did a little test and tipped it around to get a feel for it. 

“Oh man you’re fucking heavy,” Josh said to the bucket. 

Josh picked it up and grew fatigue instantly by the weight. He was flabbergasted by the intense weight of the bucket. Feeling out of his league and foolish he dropped it on the ground. His friends noticed this and began laughing at Josh. Josh left the bucket and returned to his friends angry and distraught. Upon leaving the bucket some other guy came up to the bucket and began sizing it up. 

“Oh shit Josh that bucket sure showed you,” said Dylan, Josh’s generic white friend.

“Yo! Fuck off man! That shit’s mine,” Josh replied. 

Josh marched over to the bucket and pushed away the guy who was sizing it up. That guy, whose name was Marc, got offended by Josh pushing him away. Marc was a pretty decent guy, but some adrenaline and testosterone ran through his veins and made him act like an aggressive chimpanzee.

“What the fuck man, I don’t see your fucking name on this bucket,” Marc hollered.

“Do you have a fucking problem with me?” replied Josh.

“Looks like we do now.”

Josh and Marc began fighting by moving their closed fists towards each others’ bodies in a delightfully primitive manner. The altercation ended with Josh “winning.” Marc had lost a tooth. Josh was the man. His dick was ready.

Josh, now riding high on adrenaline and alcohol, stomped over to the bucket and picked it up. Josh was thrilled to be strong enough to pick up the bucket and soldiered it all the way home. When he got home the bucket was his and he was free to do anything he wanted with it. 

Josh fucked the bucket.