Fucking Hard and Getting your Rocks Off

Josh wants to find peace in his existence, but Josh is a male. A male human means Josh has an external penis that is dependent on being inside something to complete its function. This may seem ridiculous because it is… SURELY! It is ridiculous to think that you need an appendage to be enveloped. Here’s the twist!:

Josh is a hard dude, which means he lifts weights, eats meat and makes fun of the “fags”, which is a broad derogatory term used by Josh to deem those less “manly” than himself. Josh IS the man, as his comrades call him. But I mentioned a twist and here it is for real:

Josh has a vulnerable penis and even more vulnerable testicles. These external organs if damaged will make Josh a “fag” to his comrades and he would hardly achieve the status of “the man.” Therefore Josh has to protect his external organs in the vagina. Now here’s the twist for serious…:

Josh pretends like the vagina is something he owns and runs. “I fucked that bitch hard,” as Josh says, referring to inserting his vulnerable penis into another female’s safe and protected vagina. Josh wants to pretend like his penis isn’t vulnerable. Josh is a pitiful and a disgusting specimen of humans.

What’s worse is his testicles will never be protected. Therefore he has to manifest this insecurity with the most outlandish claims of power in reference to his weak and pathetic testicles. “I got my rocks off on this fucking slut’s face,” says Josh, referring to releasing sperm from his extra, tender-soft testicles.

In short, listen to the idiots. Their metaphors are extremely humorous.