Jeffrey was
dying of boredom. It sounds like a metaphor but it actually was true. Boredom
made Jeffrey eat more and drink more wine. This increased consumption of food
and alcohol products gave way to a decreased metabolism and less functioning
brain. Jeffrey wasn’t a bad guy, just bored.
“Oh my
fucking God,” Jeffrey exclaimed to his nonplussed cat.
The cat didn’t
want anything to do with Jeffrey’s manifested problems and lack of motivation
and complaint-ridden body. Jeffrey just found himself lying around and waiting around
for something great to shake him out of the “funk” he was in. Here were spawned
three manifested realities of billions of potential realities.
Reality
1: Jeffrey continued
on living his stupid, pathetic existence. Jeffrey becomes self loathing.
Jeffrey even continues living a long life with a back problem, non-existence
sex life, type II diabetes, beta blockers for hypertension, and lots and lots
of succulent debt. Shit sucks in this
reality but he’s still living. Life doesn’t stop because you get depressed. If
anything it seems longer.
Reality
2: Go get ‘em
Jeffrey. He’s out exercising and moderating his alcohol consumption. Jeffrey is
creative and full of energy at work. Jeffrey is full of energy at intercourse. Whoa!
Jeffrey is doing yoga and increasing his flexibility and libido. Eating
healthy. Clean living. Keeping it real.
Reality
3: WHATEVA!
Dichotomies are fo’ pussies. Jeffrey does what he wants when he wants. Mother
Fuckers…
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